Pagan Bigotry: a RANT

2/11/06, someone sent me the following message in response to my match.com profile:
“Oh, I get it: you're a psychic witch. Actually, you give real wiccas a bad name.”
Interesting. I never there or anywhere, proclaim to be Wiccan. I state that I am a witch. I am a nonwiccan pagan. Practicing for almost 11 years. How I give “real wiccas” a bad name, I don’t know (I guess no one ever told him the correct plural form of Wicca is Wiccan, not “Wiccas”). Nor do I understand what offended this individual so much. I do state in my profile that I work as a psychic. What that has to do with it, I am not sure. My apparently religiously offensive profile can be viewed here:Here
Granted, the profile was mostly for entertainment purposes (though I was serious about what I don’t want, who the heck wants that?). I made no mention of religion other than to say what mine is. What I find intensely amusing that he states in his profile that he’ll accept others beliefs for what they are and if you accept him, he’ll accept you.
The intolerance and nastiness that goes on within the pagan community can send those of us who are serious running for the hills and right back into the broom closet. Not because we are afraid of intolerant individuals from other religious structures but because we get tired of dealing from the negativity of those that supposedly share our beliefs. The above experience was not my first, but it made me think of many in the past. I have seen it many times over the years in pagan groups, online chats and forums. It gets old fast.
The Typical Pagan Bigot:
This isn’t always the case but I’ve noticed a pattern:
1. Tends to come from an abusive religious family, usually fanatical Christians. Not that all Christians are like that, the nuts are the minority.
2. Chooses a pagan path, because it is completely different from what they’ve been taught. Also, to rebel against their abusive friends/family
3. Almost always chooses a more popular path, such as Wicca. They’re way too insecure to choose a nonmainstream path that doesn’t include the security of numbers or an eclectic path which draws from many but none who exactly match their beliefs, therefore causing them to feel “alone”. This is not to say all Wiccan are like this, most aren’t. It’s just a well-known path that these undesirables may cling to.
4. After they read three books or so, settle in the pagan community, and complain about the “Christians” and how they’re repressing “us”. As if all Christians are hateful…nice generalization. I know many who are totally cool and could care less what I believe. They are the epitome of Christianity in that they do not judge and love people for who they are, not what they believe.
5. Proceed to tell everyone they know about their newfound belief system. Why they feel the need to announce it, I don’t know. I don’t know many Christians, Jews, Muslims, etc. that feel the need to go around announcing their religion. Why don’t you just randomly tell people the color of your underpants? What’s funny is that this breed of pagan almost always follows it up with a “please don’t hate me for it” statement. For some reason, this reminds me of the episode of South park where Mel Gibson runs around saying he doesn’t want to be tortured but implying that he wants it.
6. Next step…Slam every pagan that doesn’t believe exactly as they do. Say they’re not really “wiccan” “witch” or whatever. It’s irritating and funny at the same time. They profess to hate what Christians do. Yet how many time have I seen fanatical Christians say someone is not really a Christian because of this or that. To say someone is not a “real” Wicca or pagan because they do not believe exactly as you do is pretty much the same thing. Same song in a different tune. They also tend to be not too educated about their own religion. As an example, the above individual assumes when I say “witch” I mean Wicca. The word Wicca predates the religion known as Wicca. Its debated as to what it originally meant. Some say it meant, “Wise one” other say it meant, “to twist”. One thing that is NOT debated is that is predated the religion itself which was created in the last century by Gerald Gardener (who used what he claimed were fragments of an ancient religion and filled it in with the works of alliester Crowley) and was rewritten by Doreen Valiente. The word witch, which also predates the religion Wicca, is a bastardization of the word Wicca. Its been reclaimed by Wiccan and Nonwiccan pagan as a positive word and label. I use it in the context of nonwiccan pagan, because often when I say pagan, people assume I mean atheist instead of polytheistic. Wiccan do not have the sole right to use of the word, many nonwiccan pagans use it to ID themselves.

My Theory

In abusive relationships and structures there is a psychological form of manipulation called invalidation. It consists of making a person feel inferior for the purposes of controlling them. It’s contagious. Those that have been invalidated learn that behavior and go on to do it to others. Many try to use religion/difference of opinion as their form of control, especially if that’s what has been done to them. They may jump from one religion to another. And use the new one to attempt to do what the old one did to them.
The best weapon: recognize it. And don’t allow it. While I feel we, as pagans should accept everyone regardless of their background, we do not have to accept their bad behavior. If you see someone being abused for their beliefs, don’t be afraid to be the first to step in and defend the person attacked. Let the offensive person know you do not accept your fellow pagan being attacked. These individuals respond to herd mentality. Let them know in your group, nastiness and intolerance is not accepted.
To those who wish to create trouble through intolerance in the pagan community:
Go crawl back under whatever rock you came out from under. If you feel the need to abuse, alienate or be nasty to other people because of their beliefs, you obviously have some deep-seated issues yourself. You need therapy before you approach any religion, or any religious community. As a long time practicing pagan, I can honestly say, we do not need your poisonous interactions. Act out your issues in therapy, not within our community or on individuals. What comes around, goes around. If you do not accept your fellow human being, be they Pagan, wiccan, Druid, hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim or or other, do not expect others to accept you for who YOU are.
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